Metal and Diamonds

The weight of what I’ve wanted has won hold. Now I understand. What I knew was right, but I did not believe the titanium wall. I did not admit my bleeding fists.

I did not imagine every steep stair step was steel, or, that is, each terrace was real. Who could say that the reality would be as solid and worthless as mountain of diamonds. Those who have climbed it have never fallen. And if they did, their shame would prevent the mention.

I pause at the foot. Lean to one side and the other, testing, testing, testing. I am not prepared, but I can see the road. It will know me. It will know ME! And I will walk it once. I will arrive at the top, and go nowhere but up.

Those whom have carried their love with them will know me. For it is love that carries us when nothing else can. I will welcome those who kept their love, and the sun shall rise against our cheeks and in our eyes. We will feed the joy of the millions and the countless diamonds shall shine forth the fire of the sky.

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Stone Walls

I live in a stone walled garden
Where doves and ravens bring food and knowledge 

I am not starving, it’s just, it’s boring
The grass is growing, my heart is moaning

Without is only grey shadows and tombs
Whispers on wind of midnight’s womb

Crowds and throngs of people unseen
A blank slate in my mind that is muddied with dreams

I long to know outside my walls
The longshoreman’s craggy calls 

The soprano’s song, The crashing gong
Atop Nepal, the red-robed nun

I’d like to see nearly everything
A maid, a knight, a child, a king 

I hear the whispers, Catch fleeting glimpses
A life to live, vibrant, not listless

Perhaps to live all year in a boat
Visit each wonderful person, afloat

To learn the arts and crafts and science
Of men and women, of ants and lions

How do I even know these things
Pictures and words that I study and read

Images floating above my mind
I want to believe it’s not just rind

I hope there’s fleshy meat left for me
When my mind can finally find the key

When I will stand up and leave
To live and breathe and die, free

Forgive the Storms

Merry we have been forever
Till the clouds have brought ill weather
Breaking love with darkened dreams
And lies that pain in shadowed streams

Forgotten, sold we all the old
Love’s kindness as child we did hold
Found the storms to our liking
Bruising their teeth with curses and lightning

When thunder clears, and calm finds us
We sit, sorrowed, soaked in distrust
Waiting for trickster’s backhand
A trick or two, we’re drowned in sand

Barbs, lies and tricks, their cause we blame
Seem born from them who are the same
Workers, lovers, fighters, free,
But full of fear, just as we.

And so around the circle goes
Until the shining candle shows
Imparts through trial and art
That love is free, freeing the heart

Forsake all distaste and envy
Abide neither fear nor frenzy
Anger, hate, and hard revenge
Release, forgive these and forget

Rather let us all remember
How we live affects each other
Treating all, friend, foe alike
Let not the hand of judgement strike

We’ll forget all fancies and maims
See the truth as a sunlit day
Not shadowed thoughts of storms long past
But charity that grows at last

Sea’s Touch

Perhaps I may have asked too much
Of you or me, God
Perhaps I’ve likened this, my cross
to a shallow, tepid loch

May-chance I might have called you out
And asked, why, oh Lord!
And hearing naught, sailed away to
moor on darkened shore

If I have done this I regret
All my keening tears
And lashing still, my heart, my soul
to wandering, splintered years

I’ve sought salvation in diverse seas,
found it far and near
For everywhere that I have been
love kills all my fear

And now I understand that I,
Lost but not yet drowned
See love through my minds eye
in everything around

Poet’s flow may dry when slips
Passion’s gripping touch
Love still shows, endures and grows
beyond that gusty crutch

Pursuit of Knowledge

There is a tree in the garden that is forbidden. It is the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Knowledge is power.

But I am discussing the pursuit of knowledge. We ate that fruit a long time ago and know what is good and what is evil. As a filmmaker, I feel it is my duty to expand my horizons so that I have the broadest palette to work with. More than duty, necessity. But I have a limit. Horror.

Fright is normal in films. Comedies, cartoons, R rated dramas all have scary moments. The nature of the buildup, and the nature of the reveal changes, but its always there. But sometimes there are things that are not worth learning about. Either because they will add no value, or the price is too heavy. I have discovered my limit today. I am so glad I discovered I had a limit before I finished the inner argument I’ve had before. Wow. NSN. For those who don’t know,  I am glad for you. For those who do, you have my compassion. I refuse to step over that. And now I realize, that I need to throw out the trash and get some better material. I have a lot to learn, but I don’t have to learn everything.

Modeling and Acting

I have modeled for photographers Patrick Byrd and Daniel Macdonald. I’ve also been a churchgoer and a dancer on Terrence Malick’s Tree of Life and a priest on Season of the Witch with Nicholas Cage.

Online Book Study Groups Video

A video I did with some friends, advertising a project he was doing with book study groups. We did this in an afternoon, and came up with a bunch of characters to demonstrate the globalness of the idea.

Pumpkin the Cat

My friend Dan had just bought a new Canon 5D, and we wanted to test it out, along with Magic Bullet Looks, a color correction plugin. Pumpkin was the most interesting thing around, besides a water bottle. So we decided to get a video of her. The slow motion was all post production gravy. We decided she looked more ferocious “shaking her mane”.

Casual Drums

I’ve been drumming since I was a young teen. Having spent my childhood begging my parents to let me learn the drums instead of taking piano lessons, I finally had the opportunity to learn drumming in high school and even got to experience the thrill of playing in a band.  As an adult, I discovered that drumming (along with piano playing, thanks dad!) is an essential rejuvenation for me, so I make sure I take time during the week to immerse myself in music and rhythm.  Typically I can be found at my electronic drum set, wearing headphones so as not to disturb the neighbors, but now and then it’s fun to entertain friends and family with a few (gentler) acoustic rhythms.  In the video below you’ll see my little drum-loving daughter, Cara.

Composing and Editing

Editing for me is like composing to a prewritten melody. As a musician, I have had much opportunity to compare composition in music to editing for picture. As a composer, I must express what is in the music as meaningfully as I can. As an editor, I express the story as meaningfully as I can. This is the art and the craft, the most important aspect, which every editor strives to achieve. This is a striving that is worth achieving in and of itself.

The beauty of this striving can only be seen in true art, and as it is achieved, so it is appreciated. This is the uniqueness of the motion picture. That it is so widely appreciated, so widely accepted, so difficult to master, so easy to begin, and so beautiful that it moves more people to laughter, tears, and many other emotions, to realizations, and changes in thinking, than any other art form, save for the written word, has done consistently. And not even the written word can compare with the visceral impact of the mix of audio, video, and masterful storytelling.